Berries, berries, berries.
We have berries coming out of our ears.
That (in my opinion) is a good thing and a blessing.
We have been able to share some, and put away quite a bit. And, they are still coming on strong.
We are still picking. I was raised never to waste food.
The kids grumbling at this point, but we are picking.
I believe that God knows far better than I do (obviously), and if he feels like we need the surplus of berries…we will pick a surplus of berries.
“Why do we need MORE berries”, the kids whine. I just say “because we do not waste food”. However, I secretly hope that somehow I am instilling the bigger lesson of wisdom.
In today’s culture everything is “easy come, easy go”. My 93-year old grandfather can attest the the fact that was not always the case.
Furthermore, he keeps shouting the warning that it is sure to happen again. I believe he is right.
The worst part is the depression this time will hit people far worse.
As a culture we are being “dumbed down” by convenience, as well as the feeling to never be satisfied.
I am not pointing fingers..I too fell into that trap FAR too long.
I raised not to waste anything, a product of my mother’s depression tainted upbringing. However, when I got out on my own I followed in the “normal” game to seek better, and better.
My “better” self.
A “better” home.
A “better” car.
I look back, and it makes me sick.
Not that I don’t still enjoy nice things, I do. But, my perspective has changed.
Call it “wisdom with age”.
Call it “divine intervention”.
I think maybe it is both.
My past, like many others pasts, is full of “what-ifs”, and regrets. But, the past cannot be changed.
The good news is that I have “seen the light”. It has been a slow process to get me to my current mindset, but I believe that is where God wants me. Maybe where he wants everyone??
My older kids think I am off my rocker.
Some of my friends tease me jokingly.
Even some of my family “think I am taking it too far”.
But, I don’t care being “weird”.
That is funny to hear me say that.
I was always consumed with being in the “popular” crowd growing up.
I was raised in church. I believed. I thought that was “good enough”.
I was to want “normal” things.
I began my life as a wife and mother much the same way. For years.
Oh, to go back.
To know the relationship side of Christianity then. I just didn’t “get it”. I was to consumed by the bright and shiny things the world had to offer. And, I did the same to my kids for far too long. It wasn’t until 5 years ago that I begun to see.
I didn’t consider us “worldly”.
We went to church.
We did the “normal” things Christians did.
But, somewhere I was longing for something.
Once I realized what it was it flipped my whole life, and my family’s life upside down.
It has truly been a journey.
The most recent change was pulling my kids from the public school system last spring, after rationalizing with myself for years that our schools were “okay” because we live in a very rural area. Because I know all the teachers. And, to be honest, because I didn’t want to home-school. I told myself that I could not add ONE more thing to my already crazy life.
Not to mention…I went to school for ATHLETIC TRAINING and NUTRITION….I NEVER wanted to teach. It just is not my “thing”.
I blatantly ignored the feelings that God was pressing this on my heart. I justified it to myself. But, God made it clear to me. And, I finally did.
It was scary.
The kids were mad.
Teachers were hurt.
Family was un-supportive.
But, I did it.
To be honest the kids are still mad.
They don’t “get it”.
My prayer is God will help me to teach the kids…not only so they do not end up illiterate (which I do fear lol)..but that they can understand why.
The younger kids are okay with it…it is my teenagers. They were in the “norm” for too long. They crave it.
They miss it.
They are not going into all this with a smile, to say the least. I just have to tell myself that they will be better because of it.
The kids want to say that the “fun has been sucked out of me”.
I have always been a silly person..I still am. I was raised that way too 🙂 lol
I still am that person…only slightly altered. I do have many “serious” moments now, which is probably what they see….mainly because of my fears, my regrets, my hopes, my pleadings.
As the “old norm” fades in their memories, my hope is that they will embrace the way of life I am trying to show them. My prayer is that I didn’t reach the older girls too late in the game.
That like a storms blows in and causes turmoil…it refreshes everything.